literature

The First Movement

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Daily Deviation

Daily Deviation

September 6, 2008
I enjoyed The First Movement by *xiooua for its tightness, depth and careful imagery, and also the simile in the second line: I left my lover on the floor,/ arms bent like a lamp cord.
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Literature Text

-

I left my lover on the floor,
arms bent like a lamp cord.
He said to me things were
different looking up;
the ceiling was brighter,
my eyes were lit up.

And he sank into sand tiles,
his hands were raw and waiting,
and waiting.

-
I like this one. Not thrilled about using "up" so close together, but I want that line.

I bet no one will get it. Ha.
© 2007 - 2024 xiooua
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Itti's avatar
This feels scarily cruel. Gave me the shivers, but made me sad at the same time. Well done.